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About Me...

Personal

I think of myself as specialist in the area of Christian growth. Some have asked me about being a pastor of a church but my wife and I both feel that I am too focused on one subject area to be a pastor. I am a team player who functions as a technician who helps people grow in personal holiness and the deeper Christian life. There is nothing that I love doing more. 

I love being part of a team and don't have a need to be the guy out front. And, I enjoy giving credit where credit is due.    

I have a wonderful wife and two married kids. We enjoy each other. We like to laugh and have fun..  

My wife and I live in Corvallis, Oregon, USA. Our kids live out of town but fairly close by.  

We have a dog named Beta. My son-in-law named her because the dog was kind of like a trial "beta" version like software. Originally, my daughter brought the dog home and told us that the dog was what she wanted for Christmas. That isn't how things worked out and my wife and I have the dog now. We think it is great and my daughter thinks it is Ok too. It is the best dog we have ever had - lots of fun.   

I worked nights for several years, but am now on day shift. I feel better physically, but I am finding it more difficult to keep up on writing and website things. 

(Update as of 4/2005: The company I work for is downsizing by giving people money to leave. I am accepting their offer. After 22 years working for Hewlett Packard I am now going to try to start my own business buying, repairing, and selling used mobile homes www.usedmh.com. By the income from this I hope to have more time for writing and ministry. It is going to be difficult at the start and I will be very busy. Please pray for God's blessing in our business. We are starting very small.) 

I love helping people grow in faith toward God and in their closeness to Him. I love to teach. It thrills my heart to watch people begin to experience God's presence as a part of everyday life. 

My greatest passion and my calling is to help people to apply the things I have written about here on this web site and in the books.

Our kids attend a charismatic church in town. My wife and I attend the Nazarene Church.  

Background

My background is with conservative evangelical Christian churches. I grew up in the Free Methodist denomination. Later I went to Baptist churches for about 15 years. I was in charismatic churches for 7-8 years. Now we are in the Nazarene Church. But I don't think my background gives an accurate picture of what to expect from my writing.

Much of the reason for why I have studied this area and done the writing I have done was because of my own failure as a Christian man in the area of lust. God has done a miracle in me. 

I attribute the greatest amounts of growth in my life to using the heart-training (the book is available on the site), people interceeding for me, and also my spending time with, and loving God. Learning how to experience God as my "sanctifier" has been wonderful. 

Please understand that I didn't start out believing the grace of God to draw near to us intensely. I did not believe God's grace and then develop this elaborate scheme to get people over to "my side." 

I was afraid that God didn't want me anywhere close to Him. I was afraid that if I did draw near I would find out He wanted me to leave. For many years, I lived in a cloud of depression from great and constant failure to avoid sin.  

I started out by trying to understand what were the underlying heart level issues that we should repent from and how to do it. It wasn't until after I began to apply the principles to turn my heart toward God that I began to believe His grace and act on His provision for me to draw near and "drink."   

Some Personal History

The early years of my Christian experience were difficult. For most of my life I struggled greatly with fear to let myself believe God's love. Even though I knew otherwise, God's love seemed like something I should have to keep deserving. Thoughts of disapproval from God were more than I could bear, so I protected myself from believing. I was afraid that if I let Him love me I wouldn't be able to maintain it. 

But the more I reached out to other Christians, the more I discovered they were struggling too. I learned I was not alone.

In my prayers I told God—often with great weeping—that we Christians would repent if He would only show us how. The cry of my heart was that God would teach me in a way that I could teach others also. 

Now—after more than 25 years of trying to understand these things—I believe that this web site and the materials I am making available are God’s answer to that prayer.

The Greatest Influences...

As a college student I read Oletta Wald's little book about proper technics for Biblical interpretation. It was called, "The Joy of Discovery." Even though she didn't say it this way, her book helped me to be committed to honest observation of the scriptures -- even if what I read didn't agree with what I saw in Christianity around me. The result is that I tend to do a lot of thinking about things for myself. I am very open to input but I also try to be as honest about what the Bible says as I know how to be. I am still learning and don't believe I have arrived.

People that have had an impact on me: Howard Hendricks -- cassette tapes on discipling and leadership; "Practicing the Presence of God" by brother Lawrance; Some of the books by Christian counsellor, Dr. Larry Crabb -- especially, "Inside Out;" David Needham in the book called, "Birthright." Robert Coleman in the Master Plan of Evangelism; George Delamarter -- my pastor as a young person who had a powerful gift of evangelism.

I Believe...

I strongly believe that Christians want to do the right thing—even when the outward evidence suggests otherwise.  

The most common reason why Christians sometimes don't do what they should, is because they don't know how to correct the underlying causes of why they do what they don't want. They long to do the right thing, but thoughts of actually correcting unwanted behaviors and of being closer to God send them spiraling into fits of hopelessness and despair. I think failure has taught many to avoid hope.

The result of this belief is great motivation to want to help correct these problems. My strong passion and the cry of my heart is to show people how. 

Being Filled and Abiding...

I also believe that being filled with the Spirit and abiding in Christ aren't the same thing. Being filled with the Holy Spirit has to do with receiving more of the Holy Spirit for the inside of us. Abiding in Christ includes being filled—but it is more. Abiding in Christ involves receiving more of Holy Spirit—for the inside and also outside of us. The way I read the New Testament abiding seems like it is much more important to emphasize (John 15).

I am Still Growing

Much of my dependence on God is out of desperation to continue avoiding personal sin. Life doesn't work very well for me otherwise.

God has used repentance to change me greatly. By the principles on this site, I have found freedom to enter the throne room of God and "drink." Doing so, has completely changed my old habit patterns of drinking from earthly sources. The same can be true for you! 

But just because repentance is important to me doesn't mean I am perfect. I am far from it. It just means I am progressing--it just means that I have learned to run to Him when I do something wrong. I don't tend to hide or feel like I have to earn a sense of having punished myself. 

Like anyone I have good days and bad days. But, God has changed me so much that my good days far out number the bad. Even the ways I define "bad" has improved greatly through application of the principles here. 

I have learned to be both patient with myself and relentless about moving forward. I am still growing.

Do I live these things? Yes, but not perfectly. I still have to constantly remind myself about continually receiving from the fountain of God. I still have to keep reassuring my heart about my access before Him. Yes, I still have to watch for subtle evidence of pride. If you are around me you may see some of that yourself. 

The principles you find here are central to how I experience God's presence moment by moment. Applying these things are how I cope with life. They are what I do when I feel hurt--they are also what I do to keep from being hurt as much. The same can be true for you.

Do I experience God's presence to the extent that I describe in these pages. Yes. But the intensity of His presence varies from one minute to the next. It varies depending on my application of principles you will find here.  

My Biggest Struggles

The greatest struggle I have today isn't the sin that kept me bound for so many years. Repentance has even helped me to find freedom from depression and despair.  

My greatest struggle is to remember the completeness of God's acceptance and love, when I sense strongly His relentless desire that I keep moving forward. God never seems to stop wanting to stretch my trust and reliance on Him, even when I would prefer to relax and take it easy. 

I also struggle because I sometimes find it difficult to tell the difference between excitement and pride. I get excited about what God is doing. But then it is all too easy for that excitement to turn into self-reliance. I don't always realize what is happening at first. 

It is as though I think, "God is working. Fruit is being produced. Why should I make the effort to stay before Him and keep on drinking." That is when I stop my focus on staying in the throne room and receiving from God. 

When excitement turns to pride I also tend to think I am safe without having to find refuge in what I receiving from God. I am currently applying principles of heart-training in these areas.

UPDATE: 11/99 Heart-training is helping with that, now it seems I need to direct my heart to find even more freedom to keep looking at the face of the Lord. I sense this is important for me now, maybe more than ever!!?? There is always something... 

Repentance has helped me greatly. It continues to help me. But I will always need to keep on directing my heart toward God. Rather than flog myself into improving, the principles on this site have helped me to have fun directing my heart toward God. They can do the same for you!       

God's Ideal is Important

Idealism is an often overlooked element in "child-like faith." I don't want to make that mistake.

I made a commitment as a young person to stay true to the idealism of my youth—I wanted to mix idealism with the wisdom that age would bring. 

Because God is God more is always possible. God help me if I feel satisfied because of thinking I have arrived.

My longing has been to make practical and real what is normally only considered the ideal. Radical repentance does that.  

Lets have fun together exploring the ideal that is possible with God.

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Our son's business website:

http://www.polyphonemusic.com/

He writes music for the advertising industry. Check out the tunes on the media page. 

Or, listen to his band:

http://myspace.com/thejuneumbrella

I am praying for the Lord's abundant blessing on your efforts to direct your heart toward Him.

Barry.

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(C) Barry Hall 1999

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